शादी के बाद...हास्य कविता

Shaadi ko yahi kuchh chhai(6)mahiNe ho gaYe thhe
Miyan bibike kisse diNcharYa ke hisse ho gaYe thhe
Ek diN bibi ne pati ke baloN meiN haath phiraYa
Kismat kaa maara ek safed baal nazar aaya
Boli’ae ji’ aapNe kabhi nahiN batlaya
Safed baal aapke sar pe kabse lahraYa
Pati bole ‘shaadi ke pehle to sab kale thhe’
Ye baal humaari naujwaani ke matwaale thhe
GhaNto sheeshe ke saamNe khaDe rehte thhe
BaaloN ki styling meiN paDe rehte thhe
Shaadi kaa chhai mahiNe meiN ye aNjaam hai
Ek safed baal humaare sar par brijmaaN hai
Ek saal meiN kai aur nikal aaYenge
Baap baNne se pehle to hum gaNje ho jaaYenge

Meri baat maan lo.....ek hasya kavita

Kabr pe behatasha rote hue shakhs se humne poochhaa,
kis ki yaad mein ro rahe ho is bekadar?

jaroor koi tumahaara aziz ya dile-jigar raha hoga,
ya phir marhoom bibi ka ghum tumhe khaa raha hoga

shakhs bola, essi koi baat nahin hai,
wafaai aur zazbaat ki takraar nahin hai

hum ye baat sunkar chakraa gaye,
thode girre phir sambhalaa gaye

poochaa ,ye raaz humen bhee sunaayo
apni mashooka ka kissa to farmaaayo

bolaa,
ye meri bibi ke pehle pati ki kabr hai,
kon thaa,nahin mujhe iski koi khabr hai

zindaa hota aaj 'vo',to mein aazad hota,
na meraa husn-e-mahal is kadr barbaad hota

Al-Qaida ke kaidiyon se bhi buraa haal hai,
haath paer khulle par dil zakhmon se laal hai

ae mere hamdard aur saathiyon,kya tumhne ehsaas hai,
ke shaadi aur wafaai, is zamaane mein itihaas hai.

Jinki ho gai , vo pachhta rahen hain,
Jinki nahin hui, vo chakkra rahe hain

third wife aur fourth husband ka zamaana hai
her kids,my kids and our kids kya anjaana hai?

Apne ko pehchaan lo ,'living together' ko jaan lo,
Laila Majnoo ko bhoolkar , meri baat maan lo.

नल आज आया है,अब पता नही कब आएगा..

मंडप सजा था,फेरे होने को थे,
पंडितजी हवन की तैयारी कर रह थे|

कुछ लोग यहाँ खड़े थे,
कुछ लोग वहन विचर रहे थे|
वहन जो कोई आता
दूसरों के कान में कुछ कहकर
भाग जाता,सुनने वाला भी फिर
वहन नजर नहीं आता|

दुल्हन के माता-पिता,सगे सम्बन्धी सब
जब चले गये तो पंडित क्रुद्ध हुआ|
बोला-'सब लोग कहाँ चले गये?
फेरे होने को है,
मुहूर्त टला जा रहा है|'

इतने में एक आदमी ने पंडित के कान
में कुछ कहा और फिर वो भाग गया|
सुनते ही पंडित बढ़बढ़ाया ,बौखलाया,
फी जोर से चिलाया...
'मुझे पहले क्यूँ नही बताया की
नल कब आया?

इतने में दुल्हन ने गठ्जोड़े को मारा
झटका,उठाया मटका और
लगी नल की तरफ भागने|

दूल्हा दुखी होकर बोला,'हे प्राणेश्वरी|
विवाह की इस पवित्र बेला में,
तुम मुझे अकेला छोड़कर
कहाँ जा रही हो?

दुल्हन बोली-हे प्राणनाथ |
अपना विवाह तो घटे भर बाद भी
हो जायेगा पर
नल आज आया है,
अब पता नहीं कं आयगा||'

सपनो की डोली ...

सूना मन था ,पर खुश कितना खुद में.

अचानक आया लेकर कोई सपनों की बारात,

लगे सजाने डोली हम रातोंरात.

रिश्तों की डोर होने लगी थी मजबूत,

होने लगा दिल को खुशियों का अहसास,

लगाए बॅठ गए हम भी उनकी आस.

पलक झपकते आई ये कॅसी कयामत,

लॉट गयी बिन दुल्हन सपनों की बारात.

आंखे खुलते बन गया सब अफसाना,

टुट गया था वो शीशे का आशियाना.

झुठी थीं वो हर बातें,

झुठे थे वो सारे रिश्ते,

चले थे जिन्हें हम प्यार से सिंचने.

हकीकत हो मेरा सपनों से सुंदर,

भुले से भी न देखुं सपनों में वो मंजर.

Ek Taraf Se Doli Uthi

Ek Taraf Se Doli Uthi
,Khushioun Aur Shehnaion Ke Sath
,Ek Taraf Se Arthi Uthi,
Gamo Aur Tanhaiyon Ke Sath,
Dono Takra Gaye,
Dekhne Wale Chakra Gaye,
Bheed Me Se Awaz Ayee
Ya Khuda Ye Kaisi Khudai Hai
Mehboob Ki Doli Dekhne
Yaar Ki Arthi Ayee Hai.

My Brother...

My Brother is the one who helps me up when i have fallen.
My brother is the one who is always saying no he cant be your boyfriend.
My brother is the one who sticks up for me.
My brother is the first one to fight for me.
My brother the one I love with all my heart.
My brother the strong one.
my brother is my everything

Thank you brother....
***********************
My brother
My brother is my keeper
My brother is my best friend
My brother is my pain
My brother is my hero

To take life
To have life
My brother did both
He is the source of all evil
The good in every evil
He lay down at let life fly
When he arise he wants to die
To take life to a new heights

My brother is my keeper
My brother is my best friend
My brother is my pain
My brother is my hero

He does things that hurt me so bad
That I wish he would die
He punishes me for the simplest thing
That’s when I turn mean
He tells on me to mother
When I do nothing at all

My brother is my keeper
My brother is my best friend
My brother is my pain
My brother is my hero

He is my best friend
My friend that would do anything for me
From taking a life
To giving CPR
Stand next to me from thick and thin
Until the end of our time

My brother is my keeper
My brother is my best friend
My brother is my pain
My brother is my hero

He is my keeper
My keeper that feeds me
That helps me make decisions
He is were my home is
He will take a bullet, or knife
To throat
He is my and all ways will be my keeper

My brother Lamont
My brother is my keeper
My brother is my best friend
My brother is my pain
My brother is my hero
************************
Brother don’t leave me
I need you
Brother you cant be gone
Tell me you are here
Brother don’t leave me
No matter what
You will always stay with me
Brother I love you
You can’t disappear
Brother you are my Soul
Don’t turn away
Brother you are my heart
Don’t take it and rip
It apart
Brother I love with what I’m worth
Just trust me on this one
I love you with faith
My passion
My sisterly love
My over protectiveness has
Taken over again
You are my brother
The one that’s going away
I can’t let you go on your own
Want you to stay
My brother I love you
But do you Love me?
Can’t and won’t leave you
Behind my brother
I love you
My brother
No matter what
We do or go we will always
I will be your sister and you will always be my
Brother

तुम गीत हो घर के ..

ओ पिता,
तुम गीत हो घर के
और अनगिन काम दफ्तर के.

छांव मे हम रह सकें यूँ ही
धूप मे तुम रोज जलते हो
तुम हमें विश्वास देने को
दूर, कितनी दूर चलते हो

ओ पिता,
तुम दीप हो घर के
और सूरज चाँद अंबर के

तुम हमारे सब अभावों की
पूर्तियां करते रहे हंसकर
मुक्ति देते ही रहे हमको
स्वयं दुख के जाल मे फंसकर

ओ पिता,
तुम स्वर, नए स्वर के
नित नए संकल्प निर्झर के...

For My Loving Husband

You're my man, my mighty king,
And I'm the jewel in your crown,
You're the sun so hot and bright,
I'm your light-rays shining down,

You're the sky so vast and blue,
And I'm the white clouds in your chest,
I'm a river clean and pure,
Who in your ocean finds her rest,

You're the mountain huge and high,
I'm the valley green and wide,
You're the body firm and strong,
And I'm a rib bone on your side,

You're an eagle flying high,
I'm your feathers light and brown,
You're my man, my king of kings,
And I'm the jewel in your crown.

What I Love About You

I love the way you look at me,
Your eyes so bright and blue.
I love the way you kiss me,
Your lips so soft and smooth.

I love the way you make me so happy,
And the ways you show you care.
I love the way you say, "I Love You,"
And the way you're always there.

I love the way you touch me,
Always sending chills down my spine.
I love that you are with me,
And glad that you are mine.

Gar Ijazat Ho To Yadon Main Bula Lou Tum Ko

Meri Ankhoon Sai Kabhi Utro Mere Dil Main,
Mai Dhadkan Main Basa Loon Tum Ko,
Jaan Sai Badh Kar Chahon Tumhain,
Apni Zindagi Hi Banna Loon Tum Ko,
Maray Khwabon Main Sirf Tum Hi Baso,
Apni Neendon Main Saja Loon Tum Ko,
Logon Ki Bhid Main Kho Na Jao Kahin,
Zamanay Sai Chura Loon Main Tum Ko,
Meri Tanhai Ko Zaroorat Hai Tumhari,
Gar Ijazat Ho To Yadon Main Bula Loon Tum Ko

Har desh ki ek sarhadd hoti hai
bache ki bhi ek jidd hote hai
aur kitna intzaar karru tere sms ka
Kanjosi ki bhi koi hadd hoti hai
`
kayi raaz aise hote hain jo dikhaye nahi jaate
kayi kisse aise hote hain jo sunaye nahi jaate
kayi dil aise hote hain jo tode nahi jaate
aur kuch aap jaise dost aise hote hain jo chodo nahi jaate.
`
Yaad karte hai tumhe tanhai mein,
dil dooba hai gamo ki gehrai mein,
hume mat dhoondna duniya ki bheer mein,
hum millenge tumhe tumhari parchaai mein…..
`
Humse door jayoge kaise,
Dil se hume bhulayoge kaise,
Hum to vo khusboo hain jo aapki saanso mein baste hain,
Khud apni saanson ko rok payo ge kaise
`
Har baar dil se yeh paigaam aaye
Zuban kholu to tera he naam aaye
Tum he kyon bhaye dil ko kya malum
Jab nazroo ke saamne haseen tmaam aaye
`
Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum
waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum
Doob kar jisme marr jayu vo River ho tum
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum…
`
Shaam hote hii ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..
`
Kya aankhein hain aapki, kya baatein hain aapki..
us khuda ne kuch aisa aapko bnaya hai…
maano…”Shhhsss…KOI Hai” se bhoot nikal aaya hai….
`
Aap kya jaano hum kitna yaad karte hain
maano ya na maano har pal fariyaad karte hain
Roz khat likhte hain CARTOON NETWORK ko
aur aapko play karne ki farmaish karte hain….
`
Phool khilte rahein zindgi ki raah mein
hassi chamakti rahe aapki nigaah mein
kadam kadam par mile khushi ki bahaar aapko
dil deta hai yehi dua baar-baar aapko
`
Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi
liya paper aur tasveer aapki banai
socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge
magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi…
`
Badi asaani se dil lgaaye jaate hain
par badi mushkil se waade nibhaye jaate hain
le jaati hai mohabbat un raaho par
jaha diye nahi dil jlaaye jaate hain.
`
Aap jaise log hume kuch khas lagte hai.
man mein har waqt hum ek aas rakte hai,
jaane kab aa jaye sms aapka
is liye cell ko dil ke pass rakte hai
`
Muskura do jara khuda ke vaste,
sama-e-mahefil mai rosni kam hai,
tum hamare nahi to kya gum hai,
hum tumhare to hain ye kya kam hai?
`
Chehre pe ashkon ki lakeer si ban gayi
Jo na chaaha tha vo takdeer si ban gayi
humne to chalaayi thi reet pe ungli
gaur se dekha to unki tasveer si ban gayia
`
Tere pyaar ki roshni aisi hai kay
har taraf ujaala nazar aata hai
sochta hon kay ghar ki bijli katwa doon
kambaqt bill bohat aata hai
`
jawaab teri shayari ka….
denge hum shayari mein….
naam tera likh baithe hain….
apne dil ki diary mein….
`
Tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to waisa hota
Tum is baat pe itna hasti, tum uss baat pe itna khush hoti,
Tum is baat pe ye
kehti,tum uss baat pe wo kahati
shukar hai tum nahi ho!!!
`
Dil ki awaz bhi sun
mere fasaane pe na jaa
meri nazron ki taraf dekh
zamaane pe na jaa…
`
Haseeno ne haseen banke gunaaah kiya,
auro ko to theek hum ko bhi tabaah kiya,
pesh kiya jab ghazalon mein un ki bewafaii ko,
auro ne to theek unhone bhi waah waah kiya
`
Yeh jo haseeno ke baal hote hai,
ladkon ko fassane ke jaal hote hai,
na jaane kitno ke khoon piye honge inhone,
tabhi to inke honth laal hote hai
`
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii….
Fiteh Mooh…Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!!
`
Jaate hue kuch aisa kar ke jayo kaam
Jaate hue kuch aisa kar ke jayo kaam
ki har galli se awaaz aaye…”ABBA JAAN”…” ABBA JAAN”
`
Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
Yeh to unke bache hee kamine hain,
Jo Mamma-Mamma bulaate hain.
`
Apni surat ka kabhi to didaar de
tadap raha hu ab aur na intzaar de
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de
`
Ae dil kissi ki yaad mein rona fazool hai
ye aansoo bade anmol hain inhe khona fazool hai
royo to unke liye
jo tum par nisaar hain
unke liye kya rona jinke aashiq hazaar hain
`
Teri aankain jhuki jhuki
tera chehra khila khila
jab tere chehre per haath ghumaya
to aadha kilo fair & lovely mila
`
Vo sochte honge usko aksar,
jo hamein unke salaam de jaati hai,
vo kya jaane unhein choone waali hawa bhi,
hamein unke saare paigaam de jaai hai!
`
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS KARNE ME bade le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho…!
`
Phoolon se khoobsurat koi nahi.
Sagar se gahra koi nahi.
Pooja-paath se faldayak koi nahi
Ab aapki kya tarif karu…
Dosto me aap jaisa….Nalayak koi nahi!
`
Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai,
gamm ke saagar me is kadar kho gayi hai,
tum kar do ek SMS yeh gujarish hai meri,
tumari SMS ki adat si ho gayi hai.
`
If U delete this message thats bcoz u love me.
If u save it thats bcoz u desire me
& if u ignore it thats bcoz u miss me.
So what u gonna do with It?
`
Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya
Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya
Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya
`
Kaun sa gam hai jo yeh haal bana rakha hai
na to makeup hai, na baalon ko sajaa rakha hai
aur khama-kha chedti rehti hai yeh rukhsaaron ko
Tum ne zulfon ko bohut sar pe chada rakha hai
`
Dil ke dard ko dil torne
waala kya jaane
pyaar ke rivajo ko ye jmaana kya jaane
hoti hai kitni takleef kabar mein
upper se phool chadane waala kya jaane
`
Jis din se juda vo humse hue
is dil ne dharakna chor diya
hai chaand ka mooh bhi utra utra
taaro ne chamkna chod diya
`
Kon kehta hai dost ki tumse humari judaai hogi
yeh afwaah zroor kissi dushman ne udaayi hogi
shaan se rahenge tumahre dil mein hum
itne dino mein kuch to jagah bnayi hogi
`
Vo likhte hain humara naam mitti mein
aur mita dete hain, Unke liye ye khel hoga
magar hume to vo mitti mein mila dete hain…
`
Umeedo ki manji toot gayi
aankho se ashqo ki dhara beh gayi
are tumahri bhi kya izaat reh gayi
jab class ki larki
bhaiya keh gayi
`
Kabhi honsla bhi aazmaana chahiye
bure waqt mein muskurana chahiye
jab 10 dinon mein khujli na mite
to 11 ve din nahana chahiye
`
Arz kiya hai…..
Aaj-kal aapke SMS aana band hai
wah wah! wah wah!
Aaj-kal aapke SMS aana band hai
khafa ho humse ya balance kam hai?
ha ha ha ha……
`
Tammana se nahi tanhai se darte hain
pyaar se nahi ruswaai se darte hain
milne ki to bohat chahat hai
par milne ke baad judaai se darte hain
`
Dil todna humari aadat nahi
Dil hum kissi ka dukhate nahi
Bharosa rakhna meri wafaon pe
Dil mein bas kar hum kissi ko bhulate nahi
`
You r my sweet SONA
I don’t want u 2 KHONA
I want a place in your heart’s KONA
Otherwise i will start RONA
Atleast Good Morning to kar LONA
`
If you fall in river there is a boat
if you fall in well there is rope
but if you fall in love there is no hope
`
Yaad mein teri aanhe bharta hai koi,
har saans ke saath tujhe yaad karta hai koi,
maut to sachai hai aani hai,
lekin teri judaai mein har roz marta hai koi….!
`
Woh insaan hi kya jo tere hotel ke kharche utha na sakay……
mein chuka kar saare bill zinda rahoon khuda na kare…!!!
`
Sapno se dil lagane ki aadat nahi rahi,
har waqt muskurane ki aadat nahi rahi,
ye soch ke ki koi manaane nahi aayega,
ab hume rooth jaane ki aadat nahi rahi
`
jawani ke din chamkile ho gaye
aur husn ke tewar nukele ho gaye
hum izhaar karne me thore dhele ho gaye
aur un ke haath peele ho gaye
Jab Jab hume pyaas lagti hai
Unke aane ki aas lagti hai
unki dewangi mein hum ho gaye itne dewane
Ki har ladki ki maa apni saas lagti hai