A State of Mind

i have come a long way
to a distant place far far away
from where i used to live
and from what i used to do;

Life is a rosy dream,
happiness and joy aplenty,
everything that i wanted and
everything is as i had hoped for;

Everything is as i had hoped for,
everything is as i had longed for,
everything is except for the turmoil
that plagues me inside every day;

I sleep, i smile, i laugh, i play, i eat and i live
in a constant state of fear,
a fear that i did not ask for,
and one that i did not longed for;

killing me from inside,
silently screaming for it to stop,
i am devoured by my own inner self,
day in and day out;

haunting and taunting me,
time and time again,
they run helter and skelter
in the deep recess of my mind;

it’s just a state of mind,
i tell myself
hoping to erase these thoughts
of fear that hinges on the edge of my happiness;

Trapped inside my own mind,
eclipsed by my fear,
tears weep without a choice
hoping to vanquish (flood) this struggle within;